Good Things To Remember

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel!
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. You have to agree that you are 'less' and that someone else is 'more' to feel inferior. If you don't agree, you cannot possibly feel inferior. You might know something less, or you might be able to do something less, but you ARE unique and hence simply incomparable.... Do not buy into being reduced to an object of comparison."

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brillant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson

Sunday, April 1, 2012

March 25th- March 31st 2012

This is how the girls fell asleep for their nap on Sunday. Looks comfortable right?!

These two LOVE to use kitchen towels as capes, skirts and dresses. They ask me all day long to pin them on them. I love their imaginations!

I have been reading the book 5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges by Richard and Linda Eyre. I checked the book out from the library so I wasn't able to highlight and mark it up. Eventually I will have to buy the book so I can refer to it when I need a little parenting help. It was a good book to read with good ideas and tips.

Obviously, there were a lot of things that stood out to me....

pg. 6
Perhaps one of the most remarkable and distinctive beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is that God has revealed information and insight that was lost about His plan for mankind, and about the family centered purpose of this mortal existence.

 We believe that all of us once lived with our heavenly parents in a pre-mortal life before this world was. There, as God's spirit children, we developed and progressed until we were ready to enter this laboratory school of physical life. He knew us as individuals and sent us each into mortal circumstances where our challenges and opportunities would maximize our potential for growth. We understood, as spirits before coming here, that mortality would be full of risk and that pain and difficulty would be as much a part of it as the moments of fulfillment and joy.

 This mortal sojourn on a physical planet where we could learn by our experience and our agency was a key part of Gods plan for His family, and at its core was our opportunity to have and to live in families of our own where we could develop new levels of love, commitment, and sacrifice.

 Thus we recognize babies who are born into this world as our spiritual siblings who come from our common home with God and who all already have distinctive personalities and characters developed during the course of their pre-earth existence. As our literal spirit brothers and sisters, children are worthy of our respect and diligent care, and parents are their stewards rather than their creators- who should do their best to discover who and what their children already are and to raise them accordingly. In this context, prayer for help in understanding and raising our children is a direct appeal to the real Parent, who knows them (and us) perfectly.

 The goal in simple terms, is to return with our families to Gods family and to be, upon that return, resurrected beings who are a little more like Him through the mortal experiences we have had and the choices we have made.

 Since we believe that all mankind are literally brothers and sisters, searching out our ancestors and filling in and linking up our family trees is like doing the research and making the contacts for a massive family reunion.

 pg. 12
Our parenting issues and challenges sometimes feel so overwhelming and so unique to us that we wonder if anyone else has ever faced them, and we get so caught up in the worlds solutions that we sometimes forget to turn to the Lord for solutions as fully as we should.

 pg. 14
One night the captain of a tanker saw a light dead ahead. He directed his signalman to flash a signal to the light, which went: "Change course 10 degrees south."

 The replay was quickly flashed back: "You change course 10 degrees north."

 The captain was a little annoyed at this reply and sent a further message: "I am a captain. Change course 10 degrees south."

 Back came the reply: " I am an able seaman. Change course 10 degrees north."

 The captain was outraged at this reply and sent a message, "I am a 240,000-ton tanker. Change course 10 degrees south!"

 Back came the reply: "I am a lighthouse! Change course 10 degrees north!"

 Perspective is everything. When we see things accurately, and within the bigger picture, when we "get it" and understand what is really happening and why, we can then figure things out and make good choices.

 pg. 31

 The DAT formula

 D stands for decibels. Just turn down your volume a little, speak a little more softly, a little more calmly.
A stands for agency. When we give children no choices or input on things, we disrespect them as spirits. Giving them as many choices as we can, as early as we can, is not only a great teaching method, but a simple and direct way of respecting them.
T is for tone. even when our decibels are OK, we often use a tone that is condescending or sarcastic or even mean or arbitrary- a tone we would never use with a friend or other person we respect.

 Lets Start Over.
The best way to break a had habit is to set up a simple system that allows them to instantly correct themselves.

 Pg. 35
The Five Facet Review
set aside one evening a month to go to dinner someplace-have a date- and talk exclusively about your children. Go through the five facets of each of your kids; physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual. You know more than you think you do, and your spouse knows more than you think he or she does about each child. it just takes a discussion and some questions to pull out things you didn't even know you knew.

 Pg. 57
Follow the Heavenly Parent Rather Than the Earthly one.

 1. God grants us complete, unconditional love.
2. God sees (and treats) each child as a unique and eternal individual.
3. God gives clear, simple laws with well-announced consequences, rewards, and punishments.
4. God allows his children the chance to repent.
5. God taught us and trained us and held us close throughout the premortal life, and then He gave us choices and let us go.
6. God trusts His children and is completely trustworthy for His children.
7. God gives us stewardships.
8. God has a plan of happiness for His children.
9. God gives us written advice in the form of scripture.
10. God allows us constant availablity to Him through prayer and suggest regular communication.
11. God sent His eldest son to help and save us.
12. God sends angels.
13. God finds joy in His children and in His relationship with them.
14. God gives us specific opportunities for service.
15. God makes family central to all and the core of His purpose.

 1. Try to follow Gods example of complete, unconditional love.
2. See and think of each child as unique and eternal.
3. Establish clear laws, rewards, and punishments.
4. Allow children the chance to repent.
5. Teach and hold close, then let go.
6. Trust and be trustworthy/ Give covenants.
an honesty pact
a respect pact
a loyalty pact
a "no offense" pact ( for grown children)
7. Allow for stewardships. (responsibilities)
8. Create a plan of happiness for your children.
9. Give written advice- notes and letters, written bits of advice.
10. Have regular communication times (and constant availability for calls)
11. Allow older sons for daughters to help their younger siblings.
12. Enlist the help of angels. (friends, family, etc.)
13. Find joy in your kids and in your relationship with them.
14. GIve kids more opportunities to servce and to give.
15. Acknowledge family as the center of all, as the core of our purpose.

 Pg. 126
The age of accountability
age 8 to twelve window in your children's growing years. During this unique phase of life, our children are highly conceptual and open to learning.   This short span between 8 and 12 will never come again. That is when children are still sweet and naiive and impressionable, yet they are also conceptual, curious, and flattered by responsibility. And they still think you know what you are talking about.

 Pg. 160
Solution #1- Remember your children's true identity- apply what we know about where our children came from and discover their unique eternal personalities.
Solution #2- Remember Gods parenting patterns- follow the supreme example of how god parents us
Solution #3- Remember your direct channel to father- understand that we are mere mortal babysitters who can appeal directly to the real parent.
Solution #4- Remember the churchs "scaffolding"- take full advantage of all the help, support, and guidance the church and its programs offer
Solution #5- Remember the Saviors power- use his spirit to guide, his atonement to save, and his priesthood to bless our children.
I love all this info. I love the explanation of our beliefs and our purpose here, I love the explanation of perception, the DAT formula, Lets Start Over, The Five Faucet Review, Following the perfect example of our Heavenly Parent, and the solutions. Such great info. Good things to remember and to do. LOVE IT.
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