March 18th- March 24th 2012

Kailee loves to dress herself and picks out the funniest outfits. I don't like having clothing battles, so she usually gets to wear what she wants. 

Ellie wanted me to take a picture of her too. She is cute.

Ryan was officially offered the Operations Training Foreman position on Tuesday.... We thought he would have till the beginning of April or May in Training, but they said they would like him to start next week. We are both trying to have a good attitude about it. He keeps saying it is just a stepping stone to where he wants to be.

Since we both decided we need to have a good attitude about this job, I decided we would celebrate (as if it is something exciting and something that we really, really wanted)!

I think Ryan gets embarrassed about the signs and balloons. I feel like if we didn't celebrate "the little things" in life, we would never have anything to celebrate. Good thing he is a good sport.

March 11th- March 17th 2012

Have you ever felt defeated? I seem to feel defeated every day. I feel like everything I do comes undone. I do the dishes, there are soon more dishes. I vacuum and mop the floors, shortly after I am done, the girls get out crackers and juice. I put on makeup in the morning just to wash it off at night. I change a diaper, just to have to change it again in an hour. I clean mirrors, just to have spots on them again by the end of the night! Sometimes I feel defeated! I try not let it get to me. I just think, well, that's the life of a mom! And, I am thankful for it. It's hard, but I really am thankful for the opportunity!

I found this quote on Pinterest this week..

 

Aaaahhh. Now that makes it all better! I know it will end all too quick. I don't get mad when there's crackers crunched up where I just vacuumed. I just try to tell myself, at least it's just today's mess and wasn't added to yesterdays mess!! Right?!

Wednesday just happened to be a defeated kind of day! I prepared a fun St Patty's Day lesson for playschool. The kids came, sat down, we sang a few songs, and then, it was aaallll over. Not one of the kids wanted a thing to do with any sort of a lesson. I tried to read them a St Patty's Day story. The didn't want to listen. I tried to get them to make cute St Patty's day headbands, they weren't interested! I mentioned decorating St Patty's day cookies, I don't think they even heard me!! So they spent the time playing, fighting, screaming and crying!!! And Andy Knapp and I quickly put the headbands together so they could take them home. After it was over and everyone was gone, I was ok with the result, but felt a little defeated! I understood that eight 2 year old kids didn't want to sit still, but I was disappointed that I spent sooo much time preparing. And on top of that, I vacuumed before they came and then had to vacuum after they left to get rid of the glitter all over the floor from the headbands they didn't care about! Phew. It took me a few hours to recover from that experience!

How could I not recover with this cute kid to make me happy?

Kailee went to dance class on Wednesday evening. I seriously love getting this girl dressed up and taking her there. She looks forward to it and gets so stinkin excited. When Kailee saw her teacher, she tried to be shy and pull me along with her, but then she let go of my hand and took off running to catch up to her teacher. Good little stinker! I love it!

Ellie was a little bugger while we waited. I think she was getting tired and didn't want to be waiting around. It's ok though. We managed. While we were at dance, Ryan went to Young Mens. They were supposed to go rock climbing in Ogden, but ended up going to the park to play frisbee. He had a meeting after the activity too, so he didn't get home till late.

Ryan has been doing some training in Logan this week. When the guys do training in outer areas, they usually stay in that area in a hotel, but he opted to drive there each day. Nice for us, crappy for him! It was especially nice because he was home earlier than normal each day!! When he went back to work at the SLC office on Thursday, he had his interview for the Operations Foreman job. He said it went well and still hears from everyone that the job is his if he wants it. We'll see what happens and try to have a good attitude about the outcome!

Ryan came home from work early on Friday so I decided to go for a run. He came along with me on his bike with the girls in the trailer. I ran the same route that I have done the last couple times- down to Fort Ln to Gordon Ave and back up our street (it's about 1.5 miles). This time it seemed a teeny tiny bit easier. Maybe it's because I had an audience!? Occasionally, Ryan would give me encouragement and had the girls do the same. Kailee would yell 'Good Job Mom' and Ellie would yell 'Run!' It was so cute and probably helped. As soon as we came up our street, I decided to go around again. It wasn't till I got back down near the church that I realized I had actually stopped panting like a worn out dog! I think it was after running 2 miles my breath had actually caught up with me. I have improved my time from 12:30 min miles to 11:15 min miles!! Works for me!

St. Patty's day was a fun one this year! Our little Leprechaun left his footprints that led from Ellie's room to Kailee's room to mom and dads room to the front door, where he left prizes in our shoes! He left Kailee and Ellie a green shirt and a bag of gold (Reeses Peanut Butter Cups). He left mom and dad a bag of gold too (Ghirardelli Chocolate Squares)!! Kailee was a little hesitant to follow the footprints to see where they went and then she really didn't want to get very close to the shoes either. But, she was quite pleased with her treats! Ellie on the other hand ran right up to her shoes and grabbed her gold and asked for it to be opened! The little Leprechaun also left Leprechaun kisses (giant shamrocks) around the house! Cute! It's going to be fun to carry on that tradition! Ryan treated us to a breakfast of green pancakes, green eggs and green grapes. We weren't sure how the girls would react to green food, but they seemed to enjoy it! Fun, fun!!

 

This week I also read a story that was called "You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations." by Dan Pearce. He talks about an experience he had a Costco watching a father with his son. The two were waiting in the return line. The boy kept asking the father questions, singing and making noise. The father would respond to the child with a glare and a growl and demand that the boy be quiet and stand against the wall. Over and over, the boy would forget about his fathers actions and try again. Over and over, the father would react the same way. Finally, the boy shrunk back, lowered his head and cowered against the wall. His father broke him. The author then goes on to talk about how important it is to 'love' your children.

This story seriously made me feel so sad. I thought about my little innocent kids and my actions. Do I break them or help them to feel loved and complete? I NEVER want my kids to feel broken. I will try harder to be better!

Kailee is a little smarty pants! Saturday, Ryan and I were hanging some hooks in the bathroom and the girls were in their rooms playing. We overheard Kailee "reading" one of her books that she likes us to read to her, "Beep, Beep, Beepity, Beep." She seriously pretty much recited it word for word. Cute girl. She has also become quite the little shopper. She likes to get her shopping cart and go around our bedrooms finding things to buy. Once she gets her cart full, she will put the items on my hope chest and "pay" for them. Cute girl!

Ellie is still learning new words like crazy! I think she says something new every single day. She is actually communicating pretty good. At least to us! I don't know if anyone outside of our home would be able to understand her, but we do! She also loves to copy her big sister. Whatever Kailee does or plays with, she wants to do it! Oh how I hope I can help them to become good friends. Lately she has been calling for her daddy a lot more. In the morning she will say "I want daddy." If she gets hurt she says, "I want daddy." Daddy, daddy, daddy! She still gives me hugs and kisses though, so that's ok!

March 4th- March 10th 2012

On Sunday I was sitting in RS looking around the room before the meeting started. I started to notice all the other ladies there and the groups they were sitting in. Then I noticed around all those groups, a few ladies sitting alone. I was one of those ladies. (Well, actually, I wasn't alone. I had my little Ellie with me). Anyhow. I started to think of how hard it is to go somewhere when you feel out of place, without friends. But then I thought... RS is obviously something that we need. There is a reason it is a part of our meetings. So I decided,  whether I go and sit by myself or I go and sit and talk with a bunch of other ladies, I am going to go. It's an important place to be, so I will always continue to go. Alone or not. I want my girls to see that. I want them to see that if it's important, we do it. It doesn't matter who else does it or if we have anyone to do it with. We do it! So, I will try to keep up that attitude to try to be an example for my little ones! (As hard as it is sometimes!)

Ryan spent Sunday afternoon searching the internet for races. He signed me up for the Pink series which includes a 5k in Pleasant Grove in April and then a half marathon in Park City in October. Then he signed us both up for the Syracuse run on Memorial Day. He will be doing the half marathon and I will be doing the 5k. Ryan will also do the Ragnar Wasatch Back in June and we will both do the Ragnar Las Vegas in November. Oh brother! When did we become runners? Sounds like fun, but I am worried!

Bright and early Monday morning, Ryan submitted his application for the Operations Foreman job. Blah. Since he has been advised by upper management to put in for the job, he decided he had better listen and do it. Neither one of us are really excited about it, but we have hopes that something good will come from it. I have really liked him being in Training. It's nice that his job has been so flexible and he enjoys the people he works with. Right now he is free to do the things he needs to do and doesn't feel like he has someone watching over his shoulder all. the. time! The job in Operations isn't like that. His schedule will be set at 7:30am- 4pm Monday thru Friday with an oncall shift every 8 weeks. Blah. That means...we can no longer meet for lunch, have him come home early, stay home on a whim, talk during the day... and on and on. Maybe I better focus on finding something I like about the job!! He will hopefully get a pay increase and... I guess that is all that I like about it right now. We'll see what happens!

Ryan and I were both able to get in a run Monday night. I decided to run down our street to Gordon Ave, over to Fort Ln then back up to our house. I think it's only about 1.5 miles, but it was actually a pretty hard run for me. I had to stop and walk like 3 times. Hopefully it will eventually get a little easier. Ryan decided to do that same run too and it was actually pretty easy for him. Surprise, surprise! We both got in some cardio toning exercise and felt pretty good for the night!

Wednesday was my mom's birthday and Steph had made plans for us girls to go to lunch and to the temple. My mom had invited us to go a couple weekends ago, but we couldn't go so Steph thought it would be neat if we took her on her birthday. Good idea Steph! Ryan had planned on leaving work at noon so he could watch the kids while I went, but decided to take the whole day off instead! We went to breakfast at Kneaders, took Kailee to school, went to get Ryan's hair cut, picked Kailee up from school and then ran to the mall so I could use a coupon that I had for VS. Yeah for me! Around 1pm I left Ryan home with two tired and hunry girls and headed out! I picked up my mom and Steph and we went to lunch at Kneaders in Bountiful. We ate and talked and ate and talked. We were there for over an hour! It's easy to do when you're having fun! After lunch we headed to the Bountiful Temple. When my mom goes to the temple she usually does initiatories, so that's what we did. Other than doing our own, Steph and I had never done them before, so it was a new experience for us. It was neat to be able to make a quick trip to the temple and still feel like we do some good. After the temple we picked up some things that I needed for dinner and then went to Deseret Book so Steph could grab a book for Kam. I ended up finding some cute little books for the girls for Easter too!

Happy Birthday to a wonderful mom who would sacrifice anything, anytime, for anyone! We love you!

I dropped mom and Steph off at home and made it back home with just enough time to get Kailee to dance. I just love watching that little girl walk to her classes! When I dropped her off at school this morning she took her jacket off, I said I love you, and she ran to go find a seat as happy as could be. She did the same thing when I dropped her off at dance. I walked her to her dance room, said I love you, and she ran off to go sit by her teacher. Cute kid! She is so brave! Her teachers say that she still doesn't talk a whole lot, but she does participate. That's good. I hope she continues to enjoy dance. Ryan and I think it would be good to have the girls both involved in some kind of activity to keep them busy.

The weather was so nice on Thursday so we were actually able to be outside. I vacuumed out the car while the girls played with all their toys from the garage. It felt so good to be able to get outside. When Ryan got home from work he stayed outside too. He cleaned up the backyard a little bit while the girls played on their swingset. Oh it's so nice to be outdoors! After we cleaned the popcorn store, we decided to continue my moms birthday celebration and took her to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. Right now isn't the best time to be out in public with us because Ellie is so wild and crazy, but we survived and had a good dinner. Mostly because Ryan ate quickly and then took both girls out to the car while my mom and I finished eating. Hopefully we will only have to wait a few more months and then we will be able to be seen, but go un-noticed in public!! haha!

Saturday we got up early, ate a yummy Greek Yogurt Pancake breakfast and then Ryan headed out for a run. He ran over to Fort Ln, up to Antelope Dr and then came back down Hillfield. It was about 3.5 miles and was pretty easy for him too. He would have kept going except his leg started to hurt pretty bad so he came home. Hopefully it isn't something that will continue to hurt. We have a lot of races we need to do! When he got home, I finished my booty buster workout and then went for my run. I decided to run the same route as last time, but in reverse. I went over to Fort Ln to Gordon and then back up our street. It was still pretty hard for me, but I was able to run the whole time. I didn't stop once! Phew. I think I might try that route a few more times and then try the one Ryan did. If I can do his, I might be able to do the 5k's that I am signed up for.

Kailee has been so cute when we go running. She likes to get on her 'running clothes' and then she runs to the corner and back! She also likes to workout with me. She mostly runs under 'the tunnel' (my legs) when I am doing lunges, but she tries to workout along side of me. Ellie just takes the opportunity to run outside on the deck because I usually have the door open for some air. Maybe if Ryan and I make it a habit to exercise, it will just automatically became a part of our kids lives! That would be good!

February 26th- March 3rd 2012

This week we were able to watch Kailee at dance. Parents are allowed to watch during the last 15 minutes of the last class of the month. Ryan came with me so he could see her too. She's so cute to watch. She looked like she was having a good time and did really well. She also did really good listening to her teacher and did what she was asked! Cute kid! I am glad we decided to start her in dance! Hopefully she will want to continue it throughout her school years.

Ellie has started to say please and thanks! Her please is more like 'ease, ease, ease' and her thanks is 'anks.' She is such a polite little 17 month old!! She does have an issue with biting though. She bites Kailee all. the. time. Kailee will take over whatever Ellie is doing, so Ellie will get mad and bite her. It is so frustrating. It's the only way Ellie has figured out how to defend what she has. I really hope she grows out of this quickly. I am afraid of what she will do to other little kids when she goes to nursery. Oh boy!

Ryan has made major progress on the bathroom this week. I love it! There are still a few things that need finished and I need to find some wall decorations, but I love it already!!

I came across this on Pinterest this week. And I love it. I hope I have a good relationship with my girls. It is so important to me.

25 Rules for Mothers of Daughters

Paint her Nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.

Let her put on your makeup. Even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.

 Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle- gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet Mr. Right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday- little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.

Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heels, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.

Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that women can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself-not just your husband or children. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person and help your daughter find out who she is.

Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.

Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls; just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her to successful women- friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential women- Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational women- Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.

Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love you” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.

Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.

Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.

Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.

Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.

Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them.  Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.

Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her.

Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy’s feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and head bang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.

Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter; you are not only her mother. Be her friend too.

Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

Teacher her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat- let her know she does not have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect- she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk away. Teach her to be the bigger ~the better ~ person.

Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without disapproving words; she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I-told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.

Mother her. Being a mother- to her- is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother’s love for their children.

Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets- no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband runs her back in attempt to comfort her…she may just whisper, “I need my mommy.”

Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you; welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news; embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you; find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit, tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor- where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile; be home!

Then on Saturday, I was holding Ellie on the couch trying to get her to sleep and flipping through the channels on the T.V. I came across a program on KBYU called Dr. Wayne Dyer: Wishes Fulfill. I left it on that program and listened for a little bit. He told this story that I absolutely love! 

He had a friend named Portia Nelson. At a seminar she attended, they had her write on a paper the five chapters of her life. This is what she wrote:

"Chapter One of my life: I walk down the street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault and it takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two of my life: I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the same place. It isn't my fault. And it still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three of my life: I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in it. It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It's my own fault. And I get out immediately. 

Chapter Four of my life: I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. 

Chapter Five of my life: I walk down another street!"

Great story! Sometimes it feels like it takes many, many chapters before I learn a lesson. Wouldn't it be great to learn the lesson after the first chapter?!!