March 11th- March 17th 2012

Have you ever felt defeated? I seem to feel defeated every day. I feel like everything I do comes undone. I do the dishes, there are soon more dishes. I vacuum and mop the floors, shortly after I am done, the girls get out crackers and juice. I put on makeup in the morning just to wash it off at night. I change a diaper, just to have to change it again in an hour. I clean mirrors, just to have spots on them again by the end of the night! Sometimes I feel defeated! I try not let it get to me. I just think, well, that's the life of a mom! And, I am thankful for it. It's hard, but I really am thankful for the opportunity!

I found this quote on Pinterest this week..

 

Aaaahhh. Now that makes it all better! I know it will end all too quick. I don't get mad when there's crackers crunched up where I just vacuumed. I just try to tell myself, at least it's just today's mess and wasn't added to yesterdays mess!! Right?!

Wednesday just happened to be a defeated kind of day! I prepared a fun St Patty's Day lesson for playschool. The kids came, sat down, we sang a few songs, and then, it was aaallll over. Not one of the kids wanted a thing to do with any sort of a lesson. I tried to read them a St Patty's Day story. The didn't want to listen. I tried to get them to make cute St Patty's day headbands, they weren't interested! I mentioned decorating St Patty's day cookies, I don't think they even heard me!! So they spent the time playing, fighting, screaming and crying!!! And Andy Knapp and I quickly put the headbands together so they could take them home. After it was over and everyone was gone, I was ok with the result, but felt a little defeated! I understood that eight 2 year old kids didn't want to sit still, but I was disappointed that I spent sooo much time preparing. And on top of that, I vacuumed before they came and then had to vacuum after they left to get rid of the glitter all over the floor from the headbands they didn't care about! Phew. It took me a few hours to recover from that experience!

How could I not recover with this cute kid to make me happy?

Kailee went to dance class on Wednesday evening. I seriously love getting this girl dressed up and taking her there. She looks forward to it and gets so stinkin excited. When Kailee saw her teacher, she tried to be shy and pull me along with her, but then she let go of my hand and took off running to catch up to her teacher. Good little stinker! I love it!

Ellie was a little bugger while we waited. I think she was getting tired and didn't want to be waiting around. It's ok though. We managed. While we were at dance, Ryan went to Young Mens. They were supposed to go rock climbing in Ogden, but ended up going to the park to play frisbee. He had a meeting after the activity too, so he didn't get home till late.

Ryan has been doing some training in Logan this week. When the guys do training in outer areas, they usually stay in that area in a hotel, but he opted to drive there each day. Nice for us, crappy for him! It was especially nice because he was home earlier than normal each day!! When he went back to work at the SLC office on Thursday, he had his interview for the Operations Foreman job. He said it went well and still hears from everyone that the job is his if he wants it. We'll see what happens and try to have a good attitude about the outcome!

Ryan came home from work early on Friday so I decided to go for a run. He came along with me on his bike with the girls in the trailer. I ran the same route that I have done the last couple times- down to Fort Ln to Gordon Ave and back up our street (it's about 1.5 miles). This time it seemed a teeny tiny bit easier. Maybe it's because I had an audience!? Occasionally, Ryan would give me encouragement and had the girls do the same. Kailee would yell 'Good Job Mom' and Ellie would yell 'Run!' It was so cute and probably helped. As soon as we came up our street, I decided to go around again. It wasn't till I got back down near the church that I realized I had actually stopped panting like a worn out dog! I think it was after running 2 miles my breath had actually caught up with me. I have improved my time from 12:30 min miles to 11:15 min miles!! Works for me!

St. Patty's day was a fun one this year! Our little Leprechaun left his footprints that led from Ellie's room to Kailee's room to mom and dads room to the front door, where he left prizes in our shoes! He left Kailee and Ellie a green shirt and a bag of gold (Reeses Peanut Butter Cups). He left mom and dad a bag of gold too (Ghirardelli Chocolate Squares)!! Kailee was a little hesitant to follow the footprints to see where they went and then she really didn't want to get very close to the shoes either. But, she was quite pleased with her treats! Ellie on the other hand ran right up to her shoes and grabbed her gold and asked for it to be opened! The little Leprechaun also left Leprechaun kisses (giant shamrocks) around the house! Cute! It's going to be fun to carry on that tradition! Ryan treated us to a breakfast of green pancakes, green eggs and green grapes. We weren't sure how the girls would react to green food, but they seemed to enjoy it! Fun, fun!!

 

This week I also read a story that was called "You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations." by Dan Pearce. He talks about an experience he had a Costco watching a father with his son. The two were waiting in the return line. The boy kept asking the father questions, singing and making noise. The father would respond to the child with a glare and a growl and demand that the boy be quiet and stand against the wall. Over and over, the boy would forget about his fathers actions and try again. Over and over, the father would react the same way. Finally, the boy shrunk back, lowered his head and cowered against the wall. His father broke him. The author then goes on to talk about how important it is to 'love' your children.

This story seriously made me feel so sad. I thought about my little innocent kids and my actions. Do I break them or help them to feel loved and complete? I NEVER want my kids to feel broken. I will try harder to be better!

Kailee is a little smarty pants! Saturday, Ryan and I were hanging some hooks in the bathroom and the girls were in their rooms playing. We overheard Kailee "reading" one of her books that she likes us to read to her, "Beep, Beep, Beepity, Beep." She seriously pretty much recited it word for word. Cute girl. She has also become quite the little shopper. She likes to get her shopping cart and go around our bedrooms finding things to buy. Once she gets her cart full, she will put the items on my hope chest and "pay" for them. Cute girl!

Ellie is still learning new words like crazy! I think she says something new every single day. She is actually communicating pretty good. At least to us! I don't know if anyone outside of our home would be able to understand her, but we do! She also loves to copy her big sister. Whatever Kailee does or plays with, she wants to do it! Oh how I hope I can help them to become good friends. Lately she has been calling for her daddy a lot more. In the morning she will say "I want daddy." If she gets hurt she says, "I want daddy." Daddy, daddy, daddy! She still gives me hugs and kisses though, so that's ok!